My Immortal A Tribute
by Angryducks
Summary: Mary sue is an awesome goth vampire dude who has everyone falling in love with her! what will Harry now renamed Vampire and Hermonie now called Bl'oo'od'y Ma-rrrrrrr-ry do?111111 (this is a spoof so any true Harry Potter fans please don't hunt Me down and kill Me)
1. Chapter 1

_**Authors note: this is a tribute to the terrible Harry Potter fanfic known as My Immortal, if You are a true blue Harry**_ _ **Potter fan or just an ordinary human being with a brain...I apologise before hand, this story is going to be aweful the**_ _ **spelling shameful and frankly a horror that will melt most brain cells and leave anyone who survives repeatedly saying**_

 _ **'WTF?!' please don't kill Me.**_

* * *

 _ **My Name is Mary blood drippings vampy pooh Sue, I am just so lovable and awesome! I was born perfect and gorgeous**_ _ **and every one wants to do Me cuz I is smexy! I have long black hair and white pale skin and have awesome ice blue**_ _ **eyes! I am a witch vampire midget half breed and goes to hoggyfarts school of wizardry, 1 dae I wuz winking down the**_ _ **hall wen I sawz a preppy ho woring pink dress I wuz so pissed I ruins up ta hur and started punching her in the face **__**screaming "preppy biatches dyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" I was just about to piss on her dand rape her driss off wen**_ _ **Draky poo Hightoy yelled My namez:**_

 _ **Darko pooh:" Mary blood drippings vampy pooh sue!"**_

 _ **Me:" OMG WTF?111?!I IS BIZZY"**_

 _ **Dronto pooh:" Nuthing I just winted 2 talk 2 u"**_

 _ **Me:" ohhh" I kicked da preppy biatch after psychotically beating her 4 not slitting her wrists and being goth lick Me then stooped up "wut draky poo flymoy?"**_

 _ **Drapo said shyly:" wanna go see MCR togather in Hoggymead tommoz?"**_

 _ **I screamed orgasmically raging as I raged:" OMFG U luv MCR 2?!"**_

 _ **Dronto smippered:" they mac Me so hard 4 U"**_

 _ **I giggled maniacally flipping My perfect hair:" I wood so like tots luv 2 go wit U Drako"**_

 _ **My friends waved at Me Screaming and so I ran off 2 grate them. later that Nike My friend Durwood was gitting ready to slit her wrists before going 2 head she smippered at Me:**_

 _ **Durwood:" so U and Drapo Shyguy R gonna do twit?"**_

 _ **Me:" OMFG I is so nut going 2 Is nut da slut!111!"**_

 _ **I sayed sexily as put on My night gown wick wuz black letter and red blud corled lace I put on loads ov mac cup on 2 lick blood red lip stick and too jars of white paint foundation and sum blac eye shadowz and sum blac eyed linner I new I looked hawt and smexy and da durwood was totally gonna lez out at Me cuz I am so hawt an stuff putting at her I screamed as I gotz inta Me coffin witch wuz painted red on da outside but had pink and bleck silk and lace on da inside:**_

 _ **Me:" we is judst going 2 sea MCR concert"**_

 _ **Durwood screamed:" be carfully dat lead singe dude is saw hawt! I wint 2 bounce his ballz for daez!"**_

 _ **I cackled:" bitch U da slut"**_

 _ **Durwood giggedz:" yah! only 4 MCR cuz only dar muz-yak is cool and stuffy"**_

 _ **I fell 2 slep. Da next night I wuz reddy for Derpo 2 pickle Me pup I wuz so tots exciteddy I wor dis outfit god I looked saw hawt! I pit blu stakes in My hare cuz I is so cool and shit, Drako turned up in a blak limo wearing nipple cuffs and leather panties but 2 my shock he hed My name tattooed on his chest I cried tears ov blud because I wuz happy Darpo screamed**_

 _ **Drako:" wut is we watting 4?!"**_

 _ **I giggled:" luts goooo"**_

 _ **he held open da cart dor 4 Me and we got inside, we did sum crystal meth 2gether smoked a couple of cigars and drank blood and chimp-pange . The concert wuz awesum and we moshe in da mosh mosh pitt They started signing Helen and I was all hot and flustered as Darpo kissed My nik wen da consert wuz ova Me and Drako had smex right their in da mosh pitts on a tree in da forbidden forest...he raped off My clothez and I gouged off his pants screaming as I had an organizam:**_

 _ **Me:" Drako D-R-A-K-O!"**_

 _ **HIS thingy that he wee wee's out ov slamed in2 Me as I screamed and screwamed**_

 _ **Me"U is smex cod!"£**_

 _ **just then Darpo screamed as he cum:" I LOVE MY DADDY"**_

 _ **we signed contemptuously snuggleing up on da tree when we herds a familiar vice scream:**_

 _ **COCKSUCKING BIATCHES!WUT DA FOOOOOOK IS YEA DOING?!...**_

* * *

 _ **If yeah read this and managed to get all the way to the end...I LOVE YOU :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Dumpy-paw glared at Me and Draco white foam spilling from his mouth as he giggled maniacally, Durpo pilled Me behinny him all protetivelllly:**_

 _ **D**_ _ **umbley-ho:" I saddy wut ya BIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCHES FOOOKING POOKING?!1122233!"**_

 _ **Mary-Sue:" yo dint under stan! we is saw hwat and pornoy renounce ur gods!"**_

 _ **Darko:" is okay Marky-Po, he just din't understand "**_

 _ **Dum-dum-cor:" don't utter pants wut?!"**_

 _ **Draco screamed:" I LUV HIM!"**_

 _ **Dumbldor glared then bitch slapped us both for being morons and screamed:**_

 _ **Dumbldor:" get ur balls up dem stair u teenaged sluts and see wut missy mGoogle and lady McPoodles have to say abut this!"**_

 _ **we walked naky up du stairs tillwe gut up inta da room where mGoogle and McPoodles whur eating varpet cuz day is day 4 eat other, Donkymaw screamed:**_

 _ **dumbleydior:" these bitches wuz waving dar pinesnesss up eat pother!"**_

 _ **Mcpoodles:" go to bed and next tim u fuk i'll cut ur dickywiky woo wods uff!"**_

 _ **mgoogle:" da rit naw knocked up teenaged sluts in da house biaaaaaatches!?23y73yifbdbfidv"**_

 _ **Draco un I wanked out of the room running suicidilaly to are rooms, durpo grunted:**_

 _ **Drturky-woah:" Mary Sue u is nokay?"**_

 _ **Mary-Sue:" yah I is fine I is gonna slit Ma throat before bed all goffically"**_

 _ **Drako:" kk rember U is kawaii, I'll go tea bag Vampier"**_

 _ **Mary-Sue": kk later ho"**_


	3. Chapter 3

Mary-Sue got into the shower slitting her wrists and and stabbing herself in the head because she is just like tots goffik , when she steeped out she smoked some crack be4 gitting her Marylyn Monsoon towel and wrapping tits aroumnd her bodily all sexily then turned to see Haggyride and Crabs recording her letting out a ear piercing squealk he roared:

Marty-stu:" wut da fuk is u dotting?!"

Carbs was castrating and running his nipple clamps , Hackfed screamed :

Hagrid:" U dunt understand I WUV UUUUUUUUUUU!111!"

mArry-Sue:" shoot the ballz up! u is a pozzzers!not goff you prep!"

Haggyfed:" I slift My pweinse oply duck said meow kissy wosuy !"

Drako ran tea bagging Vampire who screame:d

Vampire:" MY name is Hatty 'vampy' motter mutter fooker leve dis gurl a look"

Haggrid:" BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT I LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV HIM!

BRAKO:" wut a posy u isn't effe gonk"

Hagybedsz ran uff all suicidily cuz I iz lick so hwat and dey all want a bangz me vomiting at Drako and vampire I sniffled angrily:

Mary-Su:" why do I have to be cursed with this dis beauty and the in ability to write coherent sentences?!"

Draco:" Mary sue ?"

Mary sue looked in him and wuz shicked to witch as Vampire and Prato daycry began shinging barba ship harmmmony:

"welcxome to da juingle we have fun a names we have everything You need but homie You have ta paye "

Mary Sue cackled maniacly as they grined demonically and all goffick like with hyper realistic blood:

Mary sue:" dat wuz saw stweet!"

Vampire": kawii biatches"

Draco:" lets fuck"

so we did Harry the vampire waved his wee wee at da air screaming organically as Draco ripped Mary su towel off then his panties , his winky was ten feet tall and 80 feet wide macking Mary su scream with glee as vampire screamed:

Vampire:" drako yous ma bottom biatch!"

I witched as vampire nd durpo ran at each other ther pinky wink male pee pee holes aimed at each other as I slit my wrists having a orgy and aorginaisms icky wick stiff went every where and Mary sue screamed:

Ma biatches 4ever!

Lord Moldy butt joined in and Haryy and he ran off and got married in a gay sermon that blew minds, Bloooooooo'ddy Marrrr'y changed her name back to Hermione and decided it was time for world peace which she achieved in 2 hours flat . Mary-Sue and Draco became smack heads and ran off with Gollum from lord of the rings spending their days bumping uggs and smoking crack whilst Gollum who got sick of their bullshit decided to teach at Hog warts before finding love and peace within himself ending his addiction to the one ring.

The end

Okay guys I can't do this any more My brain hurts from the sheer stupidity of the original story BUT I hope I at least made You laugh and frankly if You managed to read this far with out having a brain aneurism I LOVE YOU so much right now, To all the Harry Potter Fans who read this I am so sorry for killing Harry Potter but I just had the strangest urge to write this awful tribute . Love You Guys 


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